Are we being selfish or selfless??
Being a mother of 5 children I am constantly
thinking about them and how I can help them to be better people. After reading
an article by Paul R. Amato (1), I am
very concerned for my own children and how my family life is affecting them.
There has been a couple of times in the course of my marriage that we have been
on the rocks and divorce has been
discussed. There are so many harmful effects for the children that I do not see
this as being a good way to handle most marital problems. I have watched many
good friends go through a divorce in the past few years and I see the
destruction of the family and the children. I do not want my children to ever
have to go through this.
I am going to use talk a bit about some of the
behaviors I saw that seemed to start the downward spiral towards divorce. The financial hardship is one
and the mothers have gone back to school to get an education so that they can
provide for the children as the father has yet to support the family. As Elder
Dallin H. Oaks mentioned in his May 2007 (2)
talk, “selfishness” was the cause of these divorce’s and continues to be at the
root of all of the family problems. The mother’s have had to go on assistance
for food and daily living. The children
have gone from being happy and carefree to seeming to bear the weight of the
world on their shoulders. The fathers
have had to move out and find someplace else to live. These are just some of
the issues that the divorce has
caused. I do not think that any parent
is solely responsible for the divorce,
but each has a fault. What I have seen some
of them do after though has been supporting the kids in keeping them in the
same home and school. These little
things help to keep some stability for the children and I think that the
parents are truly trying to minimize the effects. Does any of this sound
familiar? Have you contemplated divorce?
I would love to see us all take into consideration
the impact divorce will have on our
children. Have we done everything we can to make the marriage work? Have we
used the principle of repentance first? Have we tried counseling and putting
away our selfish desires? Have we prayed and truly asked the Lord to help
change our hearts to be Christ like? When we have done these things and still
feel no hope then it is time to talk to your Bishop and receive the counsel of
the Lord. I believe that we can make a
change in our lives as we strive to live the gospel, humble ourselves and truly
look to serve and care for our spouse as we have those around us.
“Say unto them, Ye hypocrites, first cast out the beam out of thine
own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy
brother’s eye.”
Joseph Smith Translation - Matthew
7:8
References
1. Amato, Paul R.(2005). The Impact of Family Formation
Change on the Cognitive, Social and Emotional Well-Being of the Next
Generation. www.futureofchildren.org
Vol 15/No 2
2. Oaks, Dallin H. (May 2007). Divorce. https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/05/divorce?lang=eng
