DEBT

Unexpected expenses, can any of you relate? So this last month has been a bit of a nightmare.  Just to list a few of the things that have happened:

• Sliding glass door broke during a snow storm
•  Car broke down and needed to be replaced with a four-wheel drive
•  Daughter fell and broke her glasses
•  My son needed to pay for the pipes for a loafing shed. This is his FFA project for the year.
•  Garage Door spring broke
•  Cat died unexpectedly – children want a new one
•  Christmas is around the corner

As you can see life has been paying us a bit of a visit.  We have really had to concentrate on how to make things work financially.  In our class we got to read a couple of chapters from a book called “Till Debt do us Part” by B. Poduska. 

I found so much of this to be helpful to me.  One of the things that really stuck out is how our birth order can have some bearing on how we relate to finances in our marriage.  See which of these you fit into.

“Firstborn: Makes out a budget, makes sure everyone adheres to it.

Second Born: Sometimes sabotages the firstborn’s budget.

Middle Born: Tends to go along with whatever budget is established.

Last Born: Sees budgets as restrictive; avoids responsibility.” (1)

So now the next goal of mine is to learn how to better help my husband with the budget so we can get out of debt and have a better marriage.  What are your financial goals??

References:

1.     Poduska, B. (2000). Till Debt do us Part, (Chapter 2). Salt Lake City, Utah: Shadow Mountain.

Are you WARM or COLD??

Thanksgiving

What a great time to talk about marriage.  We should all be grateful for our spouses and the little/big things that they do for us.  It maybe something as small as taking out the trash or clearing their dishes after a meal.  As a woman these tiny little gestures sure help to set a more inviting mood from me for intimacy.  This is something that seems to come more easily to men than women. 

          “An angry word will pour cold water on a spouse’s romantic “on” switch more quickly than you can imagine, while a meaningful apology can pave the way to a gentle invitation toward intimacy.”

~ Sean E. Brotherson ~

This week we were able to read a great article titled “Fulfilling the Sexual Stewardship in Marriage” by Sean E. Brotherson. In this article he talks about the true nature of sexual fulfilment and its place in the marriage.

As a young 18-year-old I entered the Los Angeles Temple to be married for time and all eternity in January of 1998.  I had all the hopes and dreams of the world in front of me.  I was excited and nervous all at the same time.  Then in the matter of a 5-minute ceremony, my whole life changed.  All those things that we had been taught were wrong were and to be saved for marriage were finally legal. Needless to say, it took my mind a bit longer to get wrapped around the idea that it was now a commandment to be fulfilled.

So in reading Brother Brotherson’s article he had a great way to help set a more positive climate in the marriage. 

          “…measure the number of “positive” expressions toward each other (compliments, kind words, affection, etc.) versus the number of negative expressions toward each other (sarcasm, criticism, put-downs, anger, etc.) over an hour or a day, or even a fifteen-minute period of time. The higher the ratio of positive to negative expressions, the more “warm” your emotional atmosphere is…The higher the ratio of negative to positive expressions, the more “cold” your emotional atmosphere is.”

So this next week I am hoping that we can all start to measure our expressions towards our spouse and if they are not warm then I hope that we will be able to work towards making them that way.  In doing this I hope that we will be able to grow closer to our spouse and be able to have a fulfilling marriage in all aspects. Let us all give thanks for our spouse this week.